1 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:07,600 every year one lucky school gets a new playground built by the philadelphia 2 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:11,280 eagles so i reached out and they had already picked their school i told them 3 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:15,440 fine i'll reach out to the 76ers and i didn't get a response back so i did an 4 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,820 instagram call to action in the tone of a threatening plea to sort of pressure 5 00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:20,380 them socially and it worked 6 00:00:28,350 --> 00:00:29,350 What's going on here? 7 00:00:29,510 --> 00:00:31,470 The Sixers are building us a playground. 8 00:00:31,810 --> 00:00:34,330 As in six guys or the Philadelphia 76ers? 9 00:00:34,850 --> 00:00:35,930 Don't be rude, Greg. 10 00:00:36,330 --> 00:00:39,710 They said there's some deep bench players, which is why we don't recognize 11 00:00:39,710 --> 00:00:40,649 them. Uh-huh. 12 00:00:40,650 --> 00:00:41,650 This is free? 13 00:00:41,790 --> 00:00:42,790 Yes. 14 00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:46,110 Well, actually, the way it works is we pay for it up front, and then they're 15 00:00:46,110 --> 00:00:49,510 going to reimburse us when it's finished. It's a very interesting 16 00:00:49,510 --> 00:00:50,510 concept. 17 00:00:53,350 --> 00:00:55,070 Sorry, who are you guys? Hey, man. 18 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,300 Be cool. I'm Dean Wade. 19 00:00:57,620 --> 00:01:00,480 Nope. He's white. And what position could you possibly play? 20 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:01,880 A point guard. 21 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,040 It's possible. You've seen Jalen Brunson. 22 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:12,600 This looks kind of bad. 23 00:01:12,860 --> 00:01:14,600 Maybe they're only efficient at basketball? 24 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:15,960 Maybe. 25 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:17,200 Let's find out. 26 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,060 Dean, check up. 27 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,760 Shut it down. 28 00:01:25,550 --> 00:01:28,470 School year just started, and I'm already getting scammed. All right, 29 00:01:28,490 --> 00:01:29,490 guys, get out of here. 30 00:01:34,590 --> 00:01:35,930 Yo, what's up? 31 00:01:36,590 --> 00:01:37,710 I'm Tyrese Maxey. 32 00:01:38,070 --> 00:01:41,670 This is Vijay. This is our new guy, Jalen. We saw your Instagram post. 33 00:01:42,150 --> 00:01:43,150 Very effective. 34 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:46,490 More like threatening. Hey, man, sorry we're late, but we're here now. 35 00:01:46,790 --> 00:01:49,210 Yeah, all right, well, if you're the Sixers, where's LeBron James? 36 00:01:49,550 --> 00:01:52,670 This is gonna sound like a lie, but he's actually running up the Rocky Steps 37 00:01:52,670 --> 00:01:53,670 right now. 38 00:01:54,590 --> 00:01:58,070 He loves that moment. Yeah, right. Get the hell out of here, you tall jerks. 39 00:01:58,250 --> 00:01:59,670 You are crazy as hell. 40 00:02:02,810 --> 00:02:04,550 Really got to start watching men's sports. 41 00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:18,670 Thank you. 42 00:02:19,950 --> 00:02:20,950 Damn. 43 00:02:21,050 --> 00:02:22,350 It's harder than you think it is outside. 44 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:26,960 The gym isn't boiling during the developer meeting. You know it will be. 45 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,340 I just hope the meeting goes fast. 46 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:29,820 I have a classroom to build. 47 00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:34,660 This year, I am theming my classroom. So teachers on TikTok, they're completely 48 00:02:34,660 --> 00:02:39,140 transforming their rooms. I've seen magic themes, space themes, but me? 49 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:40,920 Get your raincoat, baby. 50 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:44,420 Because welcome to the jungle. 51 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:46,320 Themed classroom. 52 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:48,880 Come this way. 53 00:02:49,140 --> 00:02:50,140 Oh, yeah. 54 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:51,480 That's right, Mr. 55 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:52,760 Assistant Principal. 56 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:54,920 I'm so proud of you. 57 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,260 Oh, oh, oh. 58 00:02:57,820 --> 00:03:00,460 You got it, you got it. Yeah, I got it. You all right? It's good. You got it. Go 59 00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:01,460 ahead. 60 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:05,300 So, last year, I got bumped up to assistant principal after Abbott was 61 00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:06,700 saved at the teacher's conference in Miami. 62 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,240 So, I've been preparing all summer. I took some continuing ed courses, 63 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,760 developed a rapport with interim superintendent Collins. 64 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,700 I even hired my own replacement, so the first graders will be in excellent 65 00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:17,700 hands. 66 00:03:18,540 --> 00:03:19,580 Janine says I'm flourishing. 67 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,640 I don't know about all that, but, you know. 68 00:03:24,380 --> 00:03:25,380 Blah, say, blah. 69 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:28,200 Ah, we have two new teachers this year. 70 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:32,240 Mr. Eddie's replacement will be here on the first day of school, and second 71 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:36,420 grade teacher Elsa Hardaway will be joining us from newly shut down Bates 72 00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:40,480 Academy. Hey, what room is she taking? The first floor classroom, your old 73 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,600 room. Won't be a swing space anymore, people. 74 00:03:43,780 --> 00:03:47,780 Crap. I wanted to get my hoop room back. My ankles and those stairs go together 75 00:03:47,780 --> 00:03:51,440 like oil and vinegar. Good for a side salad, but not the main course, you know 76 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:52,440 what I mean? 77 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:54,860 Next, we have... Oops! 78 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,680 What the hell happened to you? 79 00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:02,080 Barb, I'm fine. I'm fine. Barb, your phone is cracked in your hair. 80 00:04:02,580 --> 00:04:05,360 Hey, did you hear what I said, Barb? With the neighborhood's absence, black 81 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,280 woman in purple sweater collided with a car in front of the Abbott Elementary. 82 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:09,800 Let's see you okay. 83 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,210 You got hit by a car? 84 00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:14,490 Are you okay? Do we need to get you to the hospital? Yeah, no, no, no, I'm 85 00:04:14,490 --> 00:04:19,010 fine. While it is true that I was mowed down by a motor vehicle, the good Lord 86 00:04:19,010 --> 00:04:24,590 protected me from serious bodily harm. I mean, could an injured person do this? 87 00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:28,370 Oh, yes. 88 00:04:28,670 --> 00:04:32,050 A car and I made unplanned contact this morning. 89 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:37,530 Now, normally, there are two sides to every story, but in this case, there are 90 00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:38,810 not, so drop it. 91 00:04:41,870 --> 00:04:44,230 Did you exchange information? Do we need to call the police? 92 00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:50,570 None of that matters. What really matters is... None of this would have 93 00:04:50,570 --> 00:04:54,830 happened if we had that crossing guard back on the corner. Yes, you know, what 94 00:04:54,830 --> 00:04:57,650 happened to that crossing guard, by the way? Same as all the rest of them. 95 00:04:57,950 --> 00:04:58,950 Crossed it on the side. 96 00:04:59,430 --> 00:05:03,130 Barbara, as assistant principal, I think that crossing guard is an excellent 97 00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:04,690 idea, and our office will get right on it. 98 00:05:05,570 --> 00:05:06,610 No, it will not. 99 00:05:06,950 --> 00:05:07,990 Somebody else can do it. 100 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,700 51st district board of school commissioners liaison representative at 101 00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:17,560 your service barbara i'm excited to work with you on this okay so if we're all 102 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:21,780 done being run over by cars remember to finish your room tonight i know some of 103 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:24,880 you use the first day so that the kids will do it for you but the district's 104 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:29,240 been getting on us about child labor practices again so stay as long as you 105 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:32,960 need uh nope we get paid for an eight hour development day one minute past 106 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:36,980 that and the union will demand overtime what i 107 00:05:37,930 --> 00:05:39,830 I'm a union representative now. 108 00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:41,710 This sucks. 109 00:05:41,930 --> 00:05:45,130 Yeah, and you can't curse at us. I hate unions. 110 00:05:45,390 --> 00:05:46,950 Okay, great meeting, everybody. 111 00:05:47,850 --> 00:05:51,690 I was really pissed after what the district pulled in Miami. Then I 112 00:05:51,690 --> 00:05:56,550 remembered the teacher's union. So I went to a few meetings, quickly became a 113 00:05:56,550 --> 00:05:58,510 rep. Call me Jimmy Hoffa. 114 00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:01,710 Hey, something about this crossing guard situation. 115 00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:03,210 Well, stop. 116 00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:06,790 That's a little traffic humor for your obsessed ass. Don't sweat the small 117 00:06:06,790 --> 00:06:10,950 stuff. Hey, Ava, my classroom that you gave to Ms. Hardaway, I'd like that to 118 00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:11,950 be mine again now. 119 00:06:12,270 --> 00:06:13,270 Perfect example. 120 00:06:13,310 --> 00:06:14,310 Watch this, Gregory. 121 00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:17,170 Melissa, handle it on your own. Great. 122 00:06:17,670 --> 00:06:18,670 No. 123 00:06:18,930 --> 00:06:21,710 I'm genuinely concerned with handling it on your own means to that woman. We're 124 00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:25,290 administrators. Our energy is best spent focusing on the bigger picture, like 125 00:06:25,290 --> 00:06:26,290 cooling this place down. 126 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,290 I'm working on getting portable AC units. 127 00:06:29,370 --> 00:06:31,350 Okay, well, I would love to help with that. 128 00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:36,550 Perfect, because I'll need you to get my coffee so I have the energy to put a bow 129 00:06:36,550 --> 00:06:37,650 on Project Sweeney Todd. 130 00:06:38,790 --> 00:06:39,790 What? 131 00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:44,610 Later today, Superintendent Collins' barbershop will be swatted, forcing him 132 00:06:44,610 --> 00:06:47,250 to miss his weekly shape and shave, something he hasn't done in decades. 133 00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:51,250 And that's when he'll notice a flyer for another shop, one owned by my father, 134 00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:54,390 who so desperately wants to get back in my life. And then, when the 135 00:06:54,390 --> 00:06:58,110 superintendent is leaned back over the bowl with a razor to his neck, I'll 136 00:06:58,110 --> 00:06:59,810 appear and ask for the ACs. 137 00:07:01,970 --> 00:07:03,110 Or we could just call him. 138 00:07:03,930 --> 00:07:04,930 Oh. 139 00:07:05,450 --> 00:07:07,370 You think you could do this job better than me, huh? 140 00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:11,530 Somebody decides to propose to Strawberry Shortcake's black friend, and 141 00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:12,530 now he thinks he can do everything. 142 00:07:12,690 --> 00:07:13,289 Hey, hey, hey. 143 00:07:13,290 --> 00:07:14,290 Who? 144 00:07:14,770 --> 00:07:16,510 Why the hell do you know I was proposing to Janine? 145 00:07:16,830 --> 00:07:19,590 Gregory, did you think when you were talking to O'Shawn, you were talking to 146 00:07:19,590 --> 00:07:20,590 your man? 147 00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:21,810 Because he's not. 148 00:07:21,950 --> 00:07:22,950 He's my man. 149 00:07:23,590 --> 00:07:24,750 And we don't keep secrets. 150 00:07:25,850 --> 00:07:26,850 Secrets keep us. 151 00:07:29,539 --> 00:07:33,300 Okay, I have mapped out the crosswalk in question where the crime of the century 152 00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:36,520 took place. Let's go over the accident and figure out where to place our new 153 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:40,600 crossing guard. Okay, okay. Well, the driver was making a right-hand turn 154 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:44,500 without looking where he was going and mowed me down. 155 00:07:45,860 --> 00:07:47,340 Oh, hey. 156 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:51,240 You must be the new second-grade teacher. I'm Melissa Cimenti, and you 157 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:52,240 must be Elsa? 158 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,420 It's Miss Hardaway. 159 00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:56,880 Uh, Miss Hardaway, I got a little proposition for you. 160 00:07:57,470 --> 00:07:59,170 Your classroom for mine. 161 00:07:59,410 --> 00:08:03,970 Because trust me, you're going to want to be on a higher floor when we get the 162 00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:04,970 next Flooded Abbott. 163 00:08:05,710 --> 00:08:09,650 Thank you for that offer, but no thank you. I'm not going to be taking a bunch 164 00:08:09,650 --> 00:08:10,650 of second graders upstairs. 165 00:08:12,550 --> 00:08:17,510 Oh, yeah, okay, you're not aware of the hierarchy around here. See, I'm the 166 00:08:17,510 --> 00:08:18,510 union rep. 167 00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:21,670 I'm not going anywhere. 168 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,130 Oh, yeah, she's a tough cookie. 169 00:08:27,420 --> 00:08:28,420 Cold glass milk. 170 00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:31,920 I've been on hold for the district for an hour. 171 00:08:32,159 --> 00:08:36,419 Do you have any contacts that... Are those misters? 172 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:40,100 Yep. Took me all morning to hook them up to the water line. How good is that? 173 00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:42,880 Janine, you didn't tell me you couldn't have misters, and these vines are 174 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,179 covering the smoke alarms. 175 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:45,960 Is that a fire pit? Yeah. 176 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,660 I'm not gonna light it during the day. 177 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,500 I may have been able to look the other way as a teacher, but as assistant 178 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,160 principal, I legally can't. 179 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:54,780 Janine, you gotta take this stuff out of here. 180 00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:58,000 Oh, and give me special treatment. 181 00:08:58,380 --> 00:08:59,380 No. 182 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:01,600 They're not taking your call, are they? 183 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,980 Maybe I'll just go down to the district instead. They can't put me on hold in 184 00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:09,160 person. Well, I'm coming with you. I don't need you messing up my Sweeney 185 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:10,880 plan. A fire pit? 186 00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:12,140 S'mores when we get back? 187 00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:13,340 Yes. 188 00:09:20,340 --> 00:09:22,480 Janine, what in the world are you doing? 189 00:09:22,780 --> 00:09:25,640 Well, I am giving my classroom the ultimate makeover. 190 00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:27,890 All the cool teachers are doing it. 191 00:09:28,430 --> 00:09:31,110 Barb, you haven't seen this on your phone? I have not. 192 00:09:31,430 --> 00:09:33,550 But have you heard this song on your phone? 193 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:39,170 I am a strong, black, incredible, sensational mom. Barb, Barb, Barb, Barb. 194 00:09:39,610 --> 00:09:40,950 That song is A.I. 195 00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:42,430 Yes, it is. 196 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,190 Absolutely incredible. 197 00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:48,790 Anyway, decorating a room should be easy. I just get my legs show rug and 198 00:09:48,790 --> 00:09:51,010 call it a day. Yeah, I mean, this ain't TikTok. 199 00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:55,490 We're just Philly public school teachers trying to get through the day. This all 200 00:09:55,490 --> 00:09:58,050 feels just a little unnecessary, no? 201 00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:02,450 Can I help you two? I'm just down here trying to get my classroom back from 202 00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:07,210 Miss Hardaway, who's gonna learn the Hardaway not to mess with me. Oh, Barb, 203 00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:09,570 Barb, we have a volunteer ready to interview. 204 00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:11,630 Huh? Looks good. 205 00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:14,310 You're going to have to remove all the dinosaurs. It's historically inaccurate. 206 00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:16,830 It doesn't make any sense. It's going to mess them all up before they get to me. 207 00:10:16,870 --> 00:10:18,010 Barbara, shall we? 208 00:10:20,970 --> 00:10:21,829 Hey, girl. 209 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:22,830 How's your mom? 210 00:10:23,970 --> 00:10:24,970 Okay, glasses. 211 00:10:26,430 --> 00:10:28,310 Now, why didn't I see you in church last week? 212 00:10:29,010 --> 00:10:30,410 Just kidding, because I didn't go. 213 00:10:32,310 --> 00:10:33,310 No one here likes you. 214 00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:38,490 Ava, I'm going to have to write you up for killing it in that dress. You look 215 00:10:38,490 --> 00:10:39,490 great. 216 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,540 Still busy slobbing down your co-workers? 217 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,300 He's assistant principal now. 218 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,160 Oh, so not co-workers. 219 00:10:47,420 --> 00:10:50,020 That's a power imbalance, right? I'll set an appointment. 220 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:52,320 Hi. 221 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,160 We're here to see Superintendent Collins. 222 00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:56,720 He's very busy. 223 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,440 Okay. Well, we'll just wait then. 224 00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:04,580 See? This is what superintendents do. 225 00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:07,820 Let's go. My dad told me he needs some sharper razors. I think we might have a 226 00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:09,960 chance. You sound like a loser on prom night. 227 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:11,520 No one's coming to surprise you, Gregory. 228 00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:13,020 Take your little suit off. 229 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:18,460 So, Abdul, where do you see yourself in five years? 230 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:22,840 Depends. If my cousin and my business idea work out... Abdul, can you hold a 231 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:23,639 stop sign? 232 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:24,499 Of course. 233 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:27,200 Great. That ought to do it. Oh, hold on now. Hold on. 234 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:30,200 Actually, 235 00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:32,040 yeah, that ought to do it. Any questions for us? 236 00:11:32,260 --> 00:11:34,320 Yeah. How much discretion do I have? 237 00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:38,270 Like, should I bust out my good friend Sarah McLachlan if someone drives too 238 00:11:38,270 --> 00:11:41,650 fast? Well, that's very clever, but no. No. 239 00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:46,910 Okay. Can you assure us that if someone were looking down at their phone while 240 00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:50,550 crossing the street, that they would not get hit by a motorized vehicle? 241 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:53,170 Easy. Down at their phone? 242 00:11:54,550 --> 00:11:57,450 Well, Abdul, congratulations, you're hired. 243 00:11:57,770 --> 00:11:58,770 Yes. 244 00:12:00,630 --> 00:12:02,530 Uh, hello? 245 00:12:03,850 --> 00:12:04,850 How you doing? 246 00:12:05,610 --> 00:12:06,730 What are you doing in here? 247 00:12:07,290 --> 00:12:08,590 What are you doing in here? 248 00:12:08,830 --> 00:12:10,010 This is my classroom. 249 00:12:11,370 --> 00:12:13,050 Miss Hardaway, girl, are you okay? 250 00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:15,630 You gave me this classroom back, don't you? 251 00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:17,890 Listen, I know. 252 00:12:19,090 --> 00:12:23,410 Memory lapses are a common side effect of perimenopause. It's nothing to be 253 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,470 ashamed of. Hey, I didn't give you this classroom. 254 00:12:27,370 --> 00:12:30,370 And my memory is pristine. 255 00:12:31,180 --> 00:12:35,420 And my periods are so regular that my doctor basically begged me to become a 256 00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:36,420 surrogate for hire. 257 00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:40,880 So that is my chair. 258 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,140 You're going to regret this. 259 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,740 Extortion doesn't work without a little information. 260 00:12:57,420 --> 00:12:58,900 I've had nothing on this broad. 261 00:13:00,270 --> 00:13:01,270 Important announcement. 262 00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:02,310 Y'all have to ink. 263 00:13:02,770 --> 00:13:03,770 Give it up, Gregory. 264 00:13:03,910 --> 00:13:06,950 There's one way and one way only to get the superintendent's undivided 265 00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:07,950 attention. 266 00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:11,270 You know what? I'm gonna just knock. 267 00:13:11,970 --> 00:13:13,510 It's hard to say no to people in person. 268 00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:16,470 Not true. I say no to everybody all the time, and I enjoy it. 269 00:13:19,190 --> 00:13:20,390 Actually, he's not in there. 270 00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:22,610 Then where is he? 271 00:13:22,990 --> 00:13:24,150 He's at the golf course. 272 00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:26,290 I thought you guys would have left by now. 273 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:27,890 See? 274 00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:30,140 Well, I guess it's tea time. 275 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:34,160 Tea time? Okay, well, Daya has a surgery. She says it's an electric lamp. 276 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:40,840 The classroom is coming along. 277 00:13:42,060 --> 00:13:45,440 It's been a lot of work. Those TikTok teachers really made it look easy. 278 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,100 Not everyone gets it, but it's not for the adults. 279 00:13:49,380 --> 00:13:52,180 It's for the kids who will treasure it. 280 00:13:59,079 --> 00:14:02,900 Sorry. Mrs. Lyons. Yes, Miss T. It's so nice to meet you. 281 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:06,120 So I brought all the information regarding Georgia's allergy 282 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,640 restrictions. Yes, thank you. 283 00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:12,080 Fantastic. I will definitely look these over later, I promise. Okay. Yeah. 284 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,040 Working on the classroom. 285 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,540 Oh, yeah. Wow. 286 00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:17,420 This is so nice. 287 00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:21,760 Thank you. But just a warning. Georgia is a little Tasmanian devil. I don't 288 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,380 know if all of this will last more than a day. 289 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:25,920 Kids just yank stuff down. 290 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:27,560 Yeah. 291 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,400 It'll be fun, though. 292 00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:32,380 Um, it has been a lot of work. 293 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,740 Oh, well, don't stress yourself. Look, I heard you're an excellent teacher, so 294 00:14:36,740 --> 00:14:38,380 you just teaching these kids will be enough. 295 00:14:40,700 --> 00:14:41,700 Oh. 296 00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:44,840 Do you need help? No, I got it. Thanks. Okay. 297 00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:46,060 I'll see you soon. 298 00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:47,300 Thank you. 299 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:52,920 Oh, yeah. 300 00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:54,780 You hold it. Yeah. 301 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,700 Knock on that. There you are. 302 00:14:57,610 --> 00:15:00,870 Can I help you? This morning, that lady cracked my headlight. 303 00:15:01,070 --> 00:15:03,890 You're the maniac motorist? Citizen to rest! 304 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:07,270 Abdul, let's hear Sarah McLachlan sing. Sir, 305 00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:12,130 sir, maybe we can go somewhere and talk about what happened. What is there to 306 00:15:12,130 --> 00:15:13,029 talk about? 307 00:15:13,030 --> 00:15:15,450 You were watching your phone, not paying attention. 308 00:15:15,870 --> 00:15:19,770 I rolled down my window to get her to pay attention. What did you do? You kept 309 00:15:19,770 --> 00:15:22,330 walking, bashed into my car. 310 00:15:22,860 --> 00:15:24,620 Oh, is this true? Of course not. 311 00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:27,340 Oh, snap. Someone uploaded the video on neighborhoods. 312 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:29,720 Oh, okay. 313 00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:34,540 I lied. 314 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:39,280 I just didn't want to start this year off on a foolish foot, especially not in 315 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:40,280 front of all the other teachers. 316 00:15:41,660 --> 00:15:45,020 Well, as a man humiliated before his peers on the daily, I understand. 317 00:15:45,780 --> 00:15:48,220 Damn. You're smashed into his car. 318 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:49,480 Oh, I want to see. 319 00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:02,260 What are you doing? 320 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,920 And why'd you knock over this trash can? 321 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,760 I am trying to take down my classroom decor. 322 00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:09,140 Why? 323 00:16:09,180 --> 00:16:10,180 This is incredible. 324 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:14,760 Yeah, but it's just, it's taking a lot of effort and it's really silly. 325 00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:16,300 Taxes are silly. 326 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:17,780 This is beautiful. 327 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,220 I can feel my mind expanding already. 328 00:16:21,460 --> 00:16:25,080 Thanks. If I had a classroom like this growing up, I could have probably been 329 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,080 president. 330 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,240 Or better yet, the highest paid janitor in the world. 331 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:32,940 The kids are never gonna forget this, Janine. 332 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,120 Catch you later. 333 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:37,520 Bye. 334 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,860 No, wait. Wait, Mr. Johnson! 335 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:43,760 Hold that thought, Judd. 336 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:48,000 You just, uh... Working hard, you silly son of a... Ava. 337 00:16:48,460 --> 00:16:49,540 I was gonna say bitch. 338 00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:52,440 We were at your office. I tried to call but couldn't get through and your 339 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:53,680 secretary told us that you were here. 340 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:55,500 So are you here embezzling or cheating? 341 00:16:55,740 --> 00:16:57,760 It's always one or the other with you suits. What? 342 00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,360 No. 343 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,940 This is Judd Allen. He develops vacant properties in Philadelphia. 344 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:06,940 This is actually a meeting to discuss how to replace two schools that shut 345 00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:07,940 down. 346 00:17:08,380 --> 00:17:09,579 That's cute. 347 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,060 Look, we're sorry for interrupting. 348 00:17:11,319 --> 00:17:15,319 We just need ten new portable AC units. The old ones that we had are broken, and 349 00:17:15,319 --> 00:17:17,839 I know it doesn't seem like an emergency, but... But it is one, because 350 00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:21,260 it's way too hot out here. And we would have got them on our own, but... No, no, 351 00:17:21,260 --> 00:17:23,460 no. Going through the district is definitely the right call. 352 00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:25,700 Way to show initiative, Mr. Eddy. 353 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,260 No, we'll get that done for you. 354 00:17:27,890 --> 00:17:29,610 Do you mind if I get back to my meeting? 355 00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:34,510 So you're just going to give us the ACs because he, what, axed? Yeah, it seems 356 00:17:34,510 --> 00:17:35,590 like a pretty straightforward request. 357 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:39,470 And what if we had held you hostage? Would you have said yes then? 358 00:17:40,110 --> 00:17:43,570 Uh, I want to say no to that. 359 00:17:46,250 --> 00:17:48,170 Remember to keep that left arm straight in your backswing. Thanks. 360 00:17:48,590 --> 00:17:49,990 Any other big things we need to handle? 361 00:17:50,950 --> 00:17:51,909 Oh, my God. 362 00:17:51,910 --> 00:17:53,370 My barber just got swatted. 363 00:17:53,690 --> 00:17:57,010 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Miss Hardaway. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 364 00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:02,370 Listen, honesty time, full disclosure, I tripped and hurt my ankle real bad like 365 00:18:02,370 --> 00:18:04,710 two years ago, and those stairs are killing me. 366 00:18:05,190 --> 00:18:09,410 Please, for the love of God, have mercy and let me have my old classroom back. 367 00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:11,810 Not my ankle. Not my stairs. 368 00:18:12,070 --> 00:18:13,070 Not my problem. 369 00:18:18,290 --> 00:18:19,850 Are you looking at Morton? 370 00:18:20,310 --> 00:18:22,330 Morton? Is that his name? 371 00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:23,870 You like Morton? 372 00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:26,150 He's... 373 00:18:26,870 --> 00:18:27,870 They're handsome. 374 00:18:28,090 --> 00:18:29,990 Oh, honey, yeah. 375 00:18:31,450 --> 00:18:36,890 Oh, yeah, I get it. You know what? His classroom is right across from mine 376 00:18:36,890 --> 00:18:39,850 upstairs, and he walks by all the time. 377 00:18:49,390 --> 00:18:51,110 We have air. 378 00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:55,770 Once we get the hose. Yeah, you did it. Take him out, take him out. 379 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,990 Is Gregory really better at this than I am? 380 00:18:59,730 --> 00:19:00,730 Damn. 381 00:19:01,050 --> 00:19:02,910 Is it too late for me to join the WNBA? 382 00:19:03,670 --> 00:19:05,910 I don't know who, but my tunnel fits will break the internet. 383 00:19:06,610 --> 00:19:10,130 Hey, don't look at the cars. Look at me. I'll tell you when to go. 384 00:19:10,790 --> 00:19:11,790 All right, now go. 385 00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:13,970 One thing I can do is protect these kids. 386 00:19:14,930 --> 00:19:16,430 Hey, stop, stop. 387 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:21,190 You stop. You see this strong, black, incredible, sensational woman on her 388 00:19:21,190 --> 00:19:22,730 phone. How you doing, Mrs. Howard? 389 00:19:22,950 --> 00:19:23,809 Like that color. 390 00:19:23,810 --> 00:19:24,810 That kid. 391 00:19:25,050 --> 00:19:28,410 Kid. Watch me. I'll go. Barbara, didn't you learn anything? 392 00:19:28,630 --> 00:19:30,350 For Pete's sake, at least look up. 393 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:31,570 Don't have to. 394 00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:32,770 Crossing guy. 395 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,690 Well, was there a new teacher you hired? 396 00:19:40,910 --> 00:19:41,910 I don't know. 397 00:19:42,010 --> 00:19:43,950 He said he would have to miss development day, but that he'd be here 398 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,730 today. He emailed me. 399 00:19:46,470 --> 00:19:47,470 Let me see that. 400 00:19:55,080 --> 00:20:00,280 chat dbt no no this is a real person i interviewed them on zoom and i've 401 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:05,460 recorded the interview for safety yeah see well first of all look at that head 402 00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:12,400 shape look at the head shape like that the plant just moved look 403 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,920 at that war background look how he's pausing so the computer can figure out 404 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:21,780 what you said you interviewed a deep fake what would anybody gain by 405 00:20:21,780 --> 00:20:25,900 doing this welcome to 2026 gregory You're old, dumb, and swagless. 406 00:20:27,340 --> 00:20:30,540 Okay, I'll just teach the class until we get somebody else. 407 00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:34,140 Perfect. Have a great first day, assistant principal. 408 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:41,240 They said I was washed, that my reign was over, that I'd never make it back to 409 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,420 the top of the charts. But guess what? 410 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,360 Abbott don't elementary without me. 411 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,020 It's going to be the best year yet. 412 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:47,280 Welcome in, class. 413 00:20:56,170 --> 00:20:57,170 Go ahead. Sorry. 414 00:21:00,090 --> 00:21:04,390 All right, guys. Do me a favor. Find a seat. Welcome to second grade. 415 00:21:04,970 --> 00:21:05,970 How we doing? 416 00:21:11,150 --> 00:21:12,150 It's okay. 417 00:21:12,970 --> 00:21:15,190 Anything can happen in the jungle. 418 00:21:15,390 --> 00:21:18,630 All right, guys? Go ahead. Find a friend. Get a seat. 419 00:21:19,330 --> 00:21:20,330 Let's get started. 420 00:21:22,270 --> 00:21:25,490 Celebrities take the hot seat to win big for charity. 421 00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:27,260 Who wants to be a millionaire? 422 00:21:27,580 --> 00:21:29,040 Now on ABC.